... and I'm finally one of them. shall we start from the beginning?
Saturday night Jesse, Mary and I had a talk that really opened my eyes to something I was lacking. At the time, I was not sure what that 'lack there of' was, but i was definitely unsettled. Mary and I decided to go to Status Sunday night. They were starting a new series called "Church=X"...hmmm.
In a very small nutshell: if I don't have a burden for my city, then something is wrong and I either need to fix it or go home. After hearing that I took the Lord's supper and asked for a renewal of the soul and a burning love for the people of Haines City. The band then started playing "God of this City." Hmmmm.... coincidence?
NAH.
A rush of electricity went up and down my body as I sang along, and all of a sudden I felt that burden that had been missing this whole time.
Monday I decided that I was going to drive down to Haines City everyday and pray and walk (and scoot on the great yellow scooter) until God speaks His plan. So off I went. I drove around for a while and prayed through the neighborhoods and for the people behind the walls of the houses. It became very emotional, and the tear ducts were working overtime. It started to rain, and I figured I should roll my window up and just go home, but something stopped me and told me to walk.
So I did.
I got out of my car and walked in the rain.
One of the best decisions I've made in a long time. It felt better than any shower I have ever taken. The best way to describe it is that I really felt God loving me through water falling on my face and soaking through my clothes. I came to the end of this street, and saw that there was a path leading down to an unknown location. I walked down this path and ended up in this huge field. Standing there in the wet, overgrown grass with the sound of thunder and the touch of rain on my skin was overwhelming. I really cannot properly describe the feeling. But all I could do was cry and laugh at the same time. I turned around and right in front of me, in the middle of this field were three paths leading back up to the street. The one of my left was all sand. The one on my right was dark and crooked and it had garbage on it. The one in the middle was clean, narrow and straight.
Talk about scripture literally jumping out of the pages and into life.
I knelt down and in the mud let God take over and love me. And then I walked up the middle path. It felt so good.
Yesterday I took the scooter and buzzed (like a bee-literally) around Haines City for 4 hours. I took pictures, met a nice man named Roofus, discovered a Christian Coffee shop, found a tea set that was destined for me, and experienced the sunshine.
All I could think was, "I am a human being again." I am comfortable in the very skin that God so passionately placed me in. And thinks I'm beautiful in. And loves me in.
Tonight I should have been sad and disappointed. But I wasn't. I am happy and excited for my friend. It makes me smile to experience someone wanting to follow God.
I walked from the mall doors to my car, and in those few short moments I was connected and it was, as Mary puts it, ORGASMIC. Yea I said it. The wind was intoxicating, and I felt that if I didnt have a car to get into or a bed to go sleep in that it would be completely ok.
Tonight the moon spoke volumes of its Creator, and that's all I needed.
